tales of friendship

salah satu pertanyaan temen2 di jakarta yang sering gw denger sekarang adalah "udah punya temen blom disana?" well, susah2 gampang nih jawabnya. yes and no. yes, i've made friends with some of the women who work at my husband's department. but if the kind of friendship they meant was like the ones i have in jakarta... it's a no then. maybe those women are what people call acquaintance. not yet close friends.

kemarin pas lagi bengong2 di mobil mendadak keinget salah satu episode pada saat i was about to resign from my office. jadi di kantor ini gw punya beberapa temen lengket (kalau nyontek istilah salah satu dari mereka : "kita kan kayak upil dan ingus....") dan pada saat terakhir2 resign itu memang kita lagi sibuk dengan kerjaan dan pikiran masing2 jadi udah lama gak sempet gosip2an bareng lagi. i was busy with my plans, they were busy with their work loads.

i still remember that day, when suddenly all of us reconnected dan ngegosip di salah satu ruang editing. it began when one of my friend said to me in a 'hopeful' voice that insyaallah she'd be divorced soon. note the word 'insyaallah' here (for those who don't know, it means 'if God is willing'). naturally i thought she was joking but you don't joke with stuff like that. needless to say i was shocked and immediately drilled her with the story. she told me the whole thing, and then proceed to say that our other friend had already known about it. what?? so we went to the editing suite (a small cramped space but very convenient for gossiping because each suite has it's own door and it's dark in there so we got our privacy), and started talking.

belom lagi selesai dengan berita yang mengejutkan tadi si temen nomor 2 mendadak bilang "eh gw juga punya berita mengejutkan loooh.. . i'm gayyy". although that news didn't shock me as much but still...

now that i think about it, it strikes me as funny that how we all have our own shocking secrets (including me). and i miss that. i miss those chatty gossipy moment with my friends. much as i like the women here, it's still not the same. first of all ngegosip dalam bahasa enggreesssss agak2 sulit deh. gak ada kata2 gak guna macam 'bo', 'ne', 'tau gak sih looo?', 'masa seeeh?' dan lain2 sebagainya. and then there's not much to gossip about except kids (mostly in form of me asking questions and they answer) cause i don't know the people they talk about and vice versa. kids and my husband are the only things we have in common. and then there's the time differences. although i don't work, i'm busy with my house and boys. they're also busy with their life. we don't have time to go lounging at a cafe to chat like i used to do back in indo when still single.

i miss my friends. they're hard to find. sometimes i wish i can go back to indo and meet them again, but i don't want to trade my life here with whatever. i'm happy, but i'd be happier if i can get some times with them again. it'll be fun to exchange news and stories and chat for hours with them again. (although agak2 sulit ya mengingat skarang kemana2 mesti bawa patrick.. :D). oh well, at least i'm lucky. my husband is quite content at listening to my gossips, so at least i can still project my inner gossip at someone. :D :D

menu ideas

2 more recipes i found rather successful.

ayam masak blackbean ala ny. sisca.
ini lumayan enak walaupun i did some slight variations. i will write the original recipe first then i'd include the variations i made in blue ink lah ya.

ingredients
4 paha atas ayam, potong jadi 8
air peresan jeruk nipis atau jeruk limo (dari sekitar 2-3 buah)
garam

saus:
5 sdm saus cabe
1 sdm madu
1 sdm kecap manis
1/2 bawang bombay, iris tipis / cincang
5 siung bawang putih, cincang
3 sdm blackbean asin [kalengan, airnya dibuang ya]
garam merica secukupnya

caranya:
rendam ayam dengan air jeruk nipis dan garam. setelah 1 jam, cuci bersih, lalu goreng.
[kalau gw sih lebih seneng ayamnya di rebus, jadi dapet kaldu ayam. jangan lupa tambahin garam sama lada dan kaldu block... setelah itu ayamnya baru di potong2]

panaskan minyak goreng, tumis bawang putih dan bawang bombay sampai harum. masukkan blackbean, saus cabe, madu dan kecap manis [gak usah persis.. dikira2 aja. gw sih nambahin madu dan kecap manis + air kaldu sekitar 2 sendok sayur], garam + merica. lalu masukkan kembali ayam, aduk rata. sajikan dengan irisan cabai merah.

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satu lagi adalah dessert ala giada de laurentis. mbak giada ini salah satu cook yang gw suka karena makanannya simpel2 (kalau gak mau dibilang aneh krn doi spesialis masakan italia bo). nah ini adalah dessert yg simpel banget dan jadinya enak. buat yang doyan coklat, this is the dessert for you. cause i'm lazy, i'm just gonna copy paste the recipe. i got it from foodnetwork.com.

chocolate mascarpone cookie

Ingredients
• Vegetable cooking spray
• 1 pound refrigerated sugar cookie dough [recommended: Pillsbury tapi merek apa aja bisa kok. gw pake merk safeway. lebih murah bow.. :D]
• 2 (1.4-ounces) chocolate-toffee candy bars, coarsely chopped, divided [kalau gak ada ilangin aja.. gak gitu guna. atau kalau mau ya ganti sama permen toffee.. ]
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
• 1 cup (8 ounces) mascarpone cheese, at room temperature
• 1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted [i just bought the whole already toasted almonds and then chopped them up]

Directions
Position an oven rack in the middle of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Spray a 7 by 10 3/4-inch nonstick baking pan with vegetable cooking spray. Lay a 6 by 18-inch piece of parchment paper in the pan, allowing the excess paper to overhang the sides. Spray the parchment paper lightly with cooking spray.

In a medium bowl, combine the cookie dough, 1/2 of the chopped chocolate-toffee candy pieces and vanilla extract. Using damp fingers, gently press the dough into the prepared pan. Using the tines of a fork, prick the dough all over [bagian ini jgn sampai kelewatan, krn kalau gak jadinya bantet]. Bake for 12 to 14 minutes until the crust is lightly browned. Cool for 15 minutes.

Place the chocolate chips and vegetable oil in a medium bowl. Place the bowl over a pan of simmering water and stir until the chocolate has melted. Cool the chocolate mixture for 10 minutes. Whisk in the mascarpone cheese until the mixture is smooth. Using a spatula, spread the chocolate mixture over the cooled crust. Sprinkle the remaining chocolate-toffee candy pieces and sliced almonds over the chocolate mixture. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours until the chocolate layer is firm.

Peel off the parchment paper and cut into 1 1/2 by 2-inch bars. Serve at room temperature.

let's go green

been feeling a bit sluggish this last couple days. 2 days ago patrick got colic and he wouldn't stop crying for an hour or so. tired!

anyway i've also been working on my garden. dulu pas belom kawin suami pernah cerita soal rumahnya, and i thought "wow. gersang." gak ngebayang ga bisa liat rumput lagi. jujur sempet agak segen sih tinggal di sini. but then he told me he could fix the garden and plant grass and stuff. i was like, really?

well, really. here's the before picture


gersang? yo pasteenyaaa. tanahnya pasir + batu, or should i say batu + pasir. kadar batu lbh banyak daripada kadar pasir dan tanah. itu pager batu.. batunya diambil dari backyard semua tuh. *ngayal tp mungkin terjadi*

nah setelah gw dateng mulai deh tuh digarap. top soil dikeruk, diganti sama pasir. trus dibikinin saluran irigasi biar ga cape nyirem2 kebon tiap hari. trus dibikinin patio dan curb biar cantik, trus ditanemin pohon2 dll. dan yang terakhir: grass.

it took 2 months but it's finally done. and these are the 'after' pictures.

green grass all the way. woohoo. udah lama ga liat rumput jadi norak.

my flowerbed. this one's okra. i've also got marigold, sunflowers, dahlia, roses, lantana, hibiscus, etc.

and this is my vegetable garden. herbs, tomatos, beans, canteloupe, ... you name it.

might still be another year or two before we can harvest the fruits but the garden should look nice this summer. can't wait.

baby language decoded?

jadi ceritanya menurut seorang patricia dunstan tangisan bayi tuh gak cuma asal nangis, tapi ada artinya. babies have their own language dan menurut si dunstan ini gampang banget kok nerjemahinnya. there are 5 words: neh, eh, owh, eiirgh, heh.

neh : means he's hungry.
eh (sometimes staccato and repetitive) : means he needs to burp.
owh : means he's tired.
eiirgh : means he's gassy.
heh : means he's uncomfortable

bah! easy to distinguish my ass.

i've listened to my baby cries many2 times (although not that often, thank God), and they all sound the same to me. sometimes emang gampang sih bedain antara eh dan owh. tapi sisanya...... sounds the same to me. which means everytime he cries i have to try to decode it in my own way. usually it involves checking everything i can check.

this past 3 days, for example. my baby's been bawling his head out, screaming like a banshee during the day. i couldn't figure out what's wrong with him except that he seemed to 'ngeden' (bahasa inggrisnya apa sih?!) a lot. di kamus gw ngeden can only mean two things: mo pup ato mo kentut. he already farted a lot (and by that i mean, a LOT) .. so i don't think he can produce more than he already let out. but he did. only little poop came out though. until today, when i want to change his diaper (already full of poop) he poop again, and again, and again. i ended up grabbing everything nearby (3 towels and 2 plies of paper towel) just to hold his poop. geez. he's sleeping peacefully now, thank God.

do i think dunstan got it right? maybe. do i find it useful? maybe. but until i can understand what patrick's really saying between those closely similar bawling, i just have to try everything i can to calm him down. and right now it means ... everything ... *sigh*

pho bo!

yesterday was hubby's birthday. when i asked him what he wanted to eat he said he wanted pho and fresh vietnamese spring roll (goi cuon). we both love vietnamese food and usually that's what we get whenever we go to tucson (no vietnamese restaurant here where i live). but with patrick just under 3 weeks old there's no way i'm going to tucson and leave him behind and there's no way we can take patrick with us. luckily hubby'd bought me a vietnamese cookbook, so i tried the recipe instead.

turns out it takes a lot of preparation and stamina to make pho. but it turned out really good. mine tasted as good as the ones you usually get in the restaurants, although it'd be better if i had more variety of meat and meat balls, and bigger bowls. but i'll settle with this one. the secret is the broth.. you have to make a really strong flavorful broth.

anyway, here's the recipe. it's pretty simple kok. the recipe makes for 8 servings, so i don't follow it closely. you can adjust the amount of ingredients you need.

broth:
4-6 pieces of beef bones about 5inch each
5 star anise
1 cinammon stick
6 whole cloves
1/4 cup fish sauce
salt
beef stock
1-inch yellow rock sugar (i use raw cane sugar.. about 4 tablespoons)
beef chunk (pilih yang ber-urat)
1-2 small yellow onion (bawang bombay), don't peel the skin off.
a 4-inch fresh ginger (i actually use only about 1 inch..), don't peel the skin off.
6 quarts (24 cups) water (kira2 aja lah, pokoknya sekuali gede)

how:
boil the bones until the broth becomes frothy. spoon away the froth so the broth becomes clear.
in the meantime, burn / charred the onion and ginger until the skin becomes black. cool off a bit, then remove the blackened skin with knife.

back to broth: after 15 minutes of boiling pour out half of the broth and change with fresh water, return to boil while keep spooning away the froth (that's the impurities of the bones, you don't want that). add beef chunk, star anise, cinammon stick,cloves, fish sauce, sugar, salt, beef stock, onion and ginger. keep simmer for about 1-1.5 hour.

in the meantime, prepare the bowl ingredients.

bowl:
thin flat rice noodle: boiled then rinse with cold water
variety of meat (chunk, rib eye, tribe, meat balls) - boil everything just before serving, sliced thin.
cilantro leaves just top part, chopped
chopped scallions (just the green part, but i use all)

put everything in the bowl prior to serving.

garnish:
mint leaves, basil leaves, bean sprouts, thin-sliced yellow onion, chopped jalapeno pepper (atau cabe rawit kalau ada), hoisin sauce.

serving suggestion:
bring the broth to boil again, adjust the flavor according to taste with the salt, fish sauce and sugar. pour to bowl, add garnish, .. and enjoy.

supermom in the making

after having patrick i now understand how God created super moms. basic training includes pain. all kinds of pains.

after birth the pain doesn't go away. you'd think being in labor was the most intense pain you could ever experience. wrong. well, sort of. labor pain was so intense that you wish you weren't pregnant. but then after giving birth you're experiencing another kind of pain. the not-so-painful-but-yet-very-annoying-and-can-make-you-cry kinda pain.

well that's what life's like for me now, almost 3 weeks after giving birth to patrick. first came the dull pain of stitches. you feel so sore down there that you actually feel reluctant to walk, pee, shower, let alone poop. and then there's the sore vagina too. mine was so swollen a few hours after that i actually feel like i had a double vagina.

oh not to mention my swollen feet. they don't hurt, but they make you feel stiff. and at night they started to itch real bad.

after that came the sore nipples. mine was chapped and cracked due to patrick's still-poor latching ability. at first it didn't hurt as bad but as time comes the pain intensify from a bee sting to shoot-me-in-the-head pain. then after 4 days milk came bursting from my breasts. good, yes, but they also made my breasts very engorged and that's painful too. i actually cried because my manual breasts pump didn't work and hubby had to run to walmart in the middle of the night just to buy me an electric breasts pump. last night the pain was so extreme that i wanted to cut my nipple off.

apart from the pain there's also the psychological issues. i don't know why but every afternoon i feel like crying out loud. and it can be for a number of reasons too. mine varies from mom's critics, pain, seeing patrick strapped into a carseat, hubby asking me what i wanted for dinner.. anything.

and to top things off: lack of sleep. first night at home patrick spent the night fussing and demanding cuddle and nipples. so i didn't sleep at all until 5am when my husband woke up. it's getting better now, i managed to steal a 2-3 hour sleep between his nursing schedule. but still, i get tired every afternoon. i need to learn to sleep when patrick's sleeping. really.

so now you'd forgive me when i say i cry like a baby when nighttime falls, wouldn't you?

(st) patrick's day

so. what's new? big. i had patrick. who's he? my darling cute son. what? when?

patrick was born march 3rd, 2010. he was actually due to be born march 1st, but alas, no sign on labor. i spent 3 weeks dialating only 1cm, so finally doctor said i needed to be induced.

"it's up to you, do you want to wait a week, or do it tonight?"
although i've been expecting this the word 'tonight' sounded so sudden and alarming. but i don't want to wait another week either. i was so huge and uncomfortable that i was ready to be de-pregnant.

so finally my husband and i decided we'd do it the next day. doctor contacted the hospital OB to reserve a room for me while i and husband went to the ER (his work place) to find replacement for him. i was nervous, excited, scared.. everything rolled into one. i was gonna have a baby.

so the next day we spent the day getting everything ready for the baby home-coming. then 6pm came and we drove to the hospital. believe it or not i was crying because i was sad to leave the dogs behind for several days. silly, i know.

once in the hospital they put me on the IV fluid and inserted some kind of a pill into my cervix. to make it dilated a bit more, doctor said. once the cervix reached 3cm he was gonna break my water. lemme tell you something... having someone insert their fingers deep into you (let alone probe around in it) was very very V E R Y unpleasant. i hated that part. and sadly the pill didn't do its job. i had to repeat the process every 4 hour. and once inserted i had to lie flat on my back, hooked up to IV and monitors attached to my belly. sleeping had never been so uncomfortable and annoying.

at around 7am doctor came in and finally announced that i've dilated a tight 3. then he broke my water. my husband arrived sometime around 8 and took me for a walk, which the nurse said will help with my dilating. at around 10 something nurse came back in and put me in pitocyn, a drug that was used to speed up the labor. soon i was contracting really bad, like 4-5 mins apart but was still dilating only 3cm. so she wanted to put more pitocyn, but thank God there's something wrong with my IV needle that everytime she put more dose in it the needle burned my hand. finally around noon or past i was dilating 4cm, and allowed epidural. it took forever for the anesthesiologist to come and by then i was in pain. you cannot believe how much pain involved in the process. each contraction came twice, one backpain and then immediately after that bladder pain.

after epidural though, i was in heaven. i can't feel a thing on my right side, but still able to feel pain on my left side. not too much, just like menstrual cramps, annoying but i was too tired to respond. after a while the nurse help me sleep sideways so the epidural will flow evenly to my body. soon i was numb waist down. and that's when she announce i was complete and ready to push.

so push i did. for half an hour, not knowing when (except for when they told me to), how (couldn't feel a thing), and what to push. but they said i was doing great. after a while nurse suddenly said "ooh he's coming. i'll get the doctor." so doctor came, told me to push, and with one push out came patrick. my husband was so excited that he forgot to record the moment patrick came out. duurrr!

nothing can describe my feelings when i first hold him in my hands (they immediately put him on my chest after birth, and scrub him dry there). amazing. i still can't believe that i managed to push something so cute and scrumpled like him out of my vagina. :D anyway, he weighed 6lbs 15oz, and 19inch long. a bit small but perfect in any other ways (apgars test 9/9).

and my life is never the same.