a grim saturday

i was going to write fun stuff about my trip to Kl and Bangkok, but this morning something more de-pressing happened. and i should say, nothing prepares you for a sudden death of a beloved member in the family. my dog bedul died of a hit-and-run this morning. i'm telling you, i can be prepared for sick / old dogs dying, but not this.

what happened was, apparently my dad, as usual, took bedul and bonny and dede to their routine morning walk. somehow dad didn't bring bedul's leash, thinking it's saturday and the road's still quiet. apparently bedul followed bonny crossing the street not knowing there's a kwk (angkot) lagi ngebut. he could still stand, but he seemed dazed, so dad had to carry bedul home (which is quite far, i don't know how he managed it as bedul was quite heavy and big). near home bedul started coughing blood and having trouble breathing. i immediately took him to the vet, but once we got there, it was too late. he's gone.

i was so sad i cried for a long time. the vet said bedul was lucky, he'd gone without suffering for a long time. it was quick, within 10 minutes he's gone. dad was so sad he cried too, kept blaming himself (which is not his fault, and i told him that). mom was sad too, i can tell.

i can only say i'm glad i'm back from vacation already, and had 2 full days to play with him. everybody in the house felt sad and empty, as he is our favourite baby in the house. dad took him when he was just a day old (i just realised, he carried him home the first time, and he carried him home the last time..). i gave him milk every 2 hours. mom prepared his food when he's older and bought him his first bone and toys. even lala (my maid who prepared bedul's meals) was sad, seeing as bedul always accompanied her when she's alone in the house.

the house felt empty now. bedul'll no longer seek my thumb (somehow he likes to ngempeng, and we always teased him about that..), play catch, wrestle, hug my waist when me or my parents are home (he always managed to do that.. i don't know how), play with the other dogs and cats, beg for food, sit and kiss whenever he wants a piece of what i'm eating.. . bedul was always the passionate one. always caring for the smaller dogs (or cats), making sure no one's left outside the house, and always watch the house and gives my parents (especially dad) a warning whenever someone's knocking at the gate. and yet he always wants to keep all the bones and toys to himself and wouldn't share with the other dogs.... oh gosh. i miss him terribly. now i won't have him to kiss and hug anymore... . i can still see him begging for dad's snack (it's called 'egg drops' but the dogs loved it so much that we dubbed it dog food) and drooling on dad's stomach.

now that he's gone, i realised that he was the joy and heart of this house. without him the house seems ... so still. i think even the other dogs felt sad.

goodbye bedul. hope you're having endless fun now. we're going to miss you so much.